The will power to have self control

No I am not talking about shopping, eating chocolate, I am talking about want to leave house, husband, and mostly my screaming three year old. I have to be careful what I say, but. . . it has been one of those days, when I really question myself is it really worth my mental health and my daughter mental heath form me to stay home. Would she be even more of a basket case if I send her to day care? My whole life I I really wanted and secretly never told anyone that I I really just wanted to be a stay at home mother. After tonight I have no idea how anyone can deal with more than one child and I wonder if I will ever have any more children. I you had just went through what I went trough you would feel the same. Three and half hour of a platinum Blondie screaming and running through the house as if I was torturing her when it came time to go to sleep in her bed. I think I have tried 5 times to get her to stay down in her bed. Attempt number 4 was almost a success but, god only knows what I can handle. If she wake again Im locking myself in the closet. You see I ave quite the dilemma. I have no car today and my husband is at work for who know how long as long as the doctor K. has to stay. I guess. My other dilemma my daughter will not go to anyone, if I need a break, or a date, if I'm that lucky. only five people within hour distance are under the spell of my daughter and she will cooperate and act as an angel. and if she stay with some one she doesn't know well or she has worked her charm on them well you will get to live with the hellish screaming banshee, till I return home. I just don't have it in me to torture any friend with my gremlin. I love my daughter but am I going to last or am I going to have to check out for a while. OH ###$#^%$&^%(*&*(_& SHE IS AWAKE

I was moved by the broad cast of the hope of America on Byu TV.

I was wondering if I would be a patriot that fought against taxation without representation,

or assisted in in the underground railroad or,
respected the original care takers of the soil, we live on,


Or walked arm in arm in the march for equal rights with the voice of Martin Luther king int the background.

Would I treat all people equally? I didn’t have to think for a split second. Yes I would! It is something in my core, my soul want to fight for the right of freedom, equality, and liberty. I free I blessed to be born on free soil. I can not help but think of all that has been sacrificed that has been made for the privilege the I profit for today. What Freedoms do we fight for today? I believe many have forgotten these sacrifices, especially the right to vote more importantly womens’ right to vote. I believe as my duty the pride and that equality belongs to everyone of every size shape and color. We are not born with prejudice, it is taught. I believe that the love for freedom and equality is nurtured by our parents. I am grateful that my mother to love and accept all, and I only hope That I will be able to do the same for my daughter.

Confession #2 - I absolutely love summer

Summer is finally hear, I thought it would never ever come. I started having spring fever early March, and never broke until two and a half weeks ago.

Signs of early spring fever, we started planting seeds indoor March it was amazing to watch them grow, but two year curiosity in three minutes without mother supervision the seedling were no more. Oh well we had better luck outdoors, and I got some cute pics and spent some quality time with my little chick.

I love the sunshine, the lazy days, otter pops, splashing in the water, fresh cut grass, tan lines, painted toes, laundry on the clothes line, fireworks, BBQs and most importantly eating snow cones and ice cream. Without a doubt I know I could have a summer diet of straight snow cones and ice cream, or ice cream with snow cones mixed. its just to hot to eat anything else. MMmMMmm. I want I cream Right know, my stomache is even growing.

Confession #1

My first confession is that I have been wanting to start this blog for six months now and daily am struck with new idea and what I would post about. Mostly as attempt to save whatever is left of my sanity, and in hope to find others out there that my or may not share the similarities of motherhood.

As a parent do you ever feel the absolute joy for an instant when your three year old just does three year old things like during all prayers over meals she has to remind you to bless the choo choo along with the food. those kind of joys ans smiles that I fell are priceless.

And there are those other priceless moment when your three year old come up to you and says," Mommy I have a problem" then you find out there is no diaper to found on your child or anywhere in the near vicinity.

I would like to share these experience with you along with those thoughts that many time surface but never go farther that the though process. An example though would be " I wonder how long it would take for my husband to notice that my child has worn the same outfit for the last two and half days." I don't think my child has ever been in the same outfit for ;longer than twelve hours.