The will power to have self control

No I am not talking about shopping, eating chocolate, I am talking about want to leave house, husband, and mostly my screaming three year old. I have to be careful what I say, but. . . it has been one of those days, when I really question myself is it really worth my mental health and my daughter mental heath form me to stay home. Would she be even more of a basket case if I send her to day care? My whole life I I really wanted and secretly never told anyone that I I really just wanted to be a stay at home mother. After tonight I have no idea how anyone can deal with more than one child and I wonder if I will ever have any more children. I you had just went through what I went trough you would feel the same. Three and half hour of a platinum Blondie screaming and running through the house as if I was torturing her when it came time to go to sleep in her bed. I think I have tried 5 times to get her to stay down in her bed. Attempt number 4 was almost a success but, god only knows what I can handle. If she wake again Im locking myself in the closet. You see I ave quite the dilemma. I have no car today and my husband is at work for who know how long as long as the doctor K. has to stay. I guess. My other dilemma my daughter will not go to anyone, if I need a break, or a date, if I'm that lucky. only five people within hour distance are under the spell of my daughter and she will cooperate and act as an angel. and if she stay with some one she doesn't know well or she has worked her charm on them well you will get to live with the hellish screaming banshee, till I return home. I just don't have it in me to torture any friend with my gremlin. I love my daughter but am I going to last or am I going to have to check out for a while. OH ###$#^%$&^%(*&*(_& SHE IS AWAKE